I Choose to Forgive: an Intimate Journey with God

One person’s story–Every person’s struggle

The journey begins with a murder of a young man in the middle of the night in California and a telephone call to his parents, missionaries living in Vienna, Austria. It continues through years of pain, sorrow and ends, ultimately, in joy.

Welcome to this chronicle of God’s call to obedience and one grieving mother’s response. It is a very personal story. But it has truths that every person who has ever struggled with forgiveness needs to know. May God bless you as you choose to forgive and begin your own journey towards freedom.

This book is available through all online book outlets. Click here to order from amazon.com. It may also be ordered in any bookstore.

Blessings,

Dianne B. Collard

About Me

Dianne and her husband have served as missionaries for 30 years and in vocational Christian ministry throughout their fifty years of marriage. As an intercultural trainer, she has worked with hundreds of missionaries serving around the world. Dianne is the Europe Ministries director for Artists in Christian Testimony International. She has an active speaking ministry in North America and Europe. She and her husband have three children and five granddaughters. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in Speech/Communications from San Francisco State University, a Master of Arts degree in Intercultural Studies and a Doctor of Missiology degree from Biola University, La Mirada, Calif. Dianne resides in North Carolina.

Dianne is now focused on speaking events in North America and she is available on a costs + honorarium basis. Please contact her through this website. She currently started a new initiative in Charlotte, North Carolina called ArtsCharlotte.

To learn more about Dianne’s ministry, check out: www.montageinternational.org .

International Publications

God’s “marketing plan” for this book has amazed me and everyone else! It is being considered for publication in many countries. The first two international releases were in German and Urdu in February 2012 and soon there will be books in 16 languages around the world!

Arabic Translation Ready for Release

The Egyptian publisher will deliver copies of Arabic translation to EVERY family of the 21 Coptic Christian martyrs. Pray these will bring the freedom of forgiveness into their lives.

Polish translation released!

Croatian Translation

In the spring 2015, the Croatia translation will be released.

Romanian Translation

Eagerly awaiting the Romanian translation in early 2015.

Swedish Translation

The Swedish translation was released in December 2014. 

Finnish Translation

Very excited to announce the release of the Finnish translation in the spring 2014.

Hungarian Translation

The Hungarian translation is scheduled for release in September 2014. It will be distributed throughout Hungary and the Transylvania portion of Romania. I will be speaking in many towns in Hungary and in the Hungarian Baptist Church of Oradea, Romania.

Odiya Translation

The Odiya translation for the Odisha people of India will be released on Good Friday 2014. The publishers plan to distribute the book to the hundreds attending services that very special day. Praise God.

Odiya Translation

Croatian Translation

A request has been made to publish this book in the Croatian language. Please pray as plans are being made to do this.

Arabic Translation

The Arabic translation will be released by an Egyptian publisher in the fall of 2014. Praise God. Donations are need for this translation.

Odisha, India

The translation for the Odisha people group of India will be released in the fall of 2014. It will be the 3rd Christian book published in this language. Praise God.

Hungarian Translation

The Hungarian translation will be released in the fall of 2014. Praise God.

Romanian Translation

The Romanian translation will be released in the fall of 2014. Praise God.

Amharic Translation

The Amharic translation was released in Ethiopia in 2013.  Praise God.

Swedish Translation

The Swedish translation will be released in the fall of 2014. Praise God.

Finnish Translation

The Finnish translation will be released in the fall of 2014. Praise God.

Albanian Translation

The Albanian translation was released in Albania and Kosovo in the fall of 2013.

French Publication

Editions Cle  published  the French transition of  ”I Choose to Forgive” in March, 2013.

Bulgarian Publication

New Man Publishers & CBSI-Bulgaria announce the release of I Choose to Forgive in Bulgarian in 2012.

Rwandan Publication

The publication of the Kinyawanda translation has been completed in 2013. Praise God.

German: Letters to a Murderer: A Journey of Forgiveness

Drei Schüsse – und ihr Sohn ist tot. Ermordet. Diese Tat zieht schreckliche Kreise im Leben der Familie Collard: ungezählte Tränen, schier unendliche Trauer, lähmende Ohnmacht. Doch Dianne Collard entscheidet sich, ihr Leben nicht dem Zorn, Hass und der Bitterkeit zu überlassen. Sondern begibt sich auf den Weg der Heilung.

Im Vertrauen darauf, dass denen, die Gott lieben, alles zum Besten dient, beginnt sie, sich ganz auf Gott und sein Wort zu verlassen. Und letztlich kann sie dem Mörder ihres Sohnes vergeben. Diese Entscheidung verändert ihr Leben. Eine bewegende Autobiografie, die ihre Glaubwürdigkeit aus dem Erlebten der Autorin zieht und eindrücklich die Kraft der Vergebung vor Augen malt.

http://www.gerth.de/index.php?id=details&sku=816664

Urdu Translation

For more information or to order, contact Eric Sarwar: ericjubal@yahoo.com

Additional Publications

There are many more possible translations to be done in the future. If you wish to contribute to the cost of publishing this book in such countries as Russia, The Ukraine, Spain and others, please send your tax deductible donation to:

Artists in Christian Testimony International

P.O.Box 1649

Brentwood, TN 37024

Account 0627

Thank-you!!

About the Book

Excerpt from “I Choose to Forgive” (written in 2010)

It has been eighteen years since our son, Timothy, was murdered. About thirteen years ago, people in Europe who knew my story began asking me to write my journey of forgiveness. God confirmed that was His intention for me. Ten years ago I promised God that I would write it just as soon as I finished my dissertation. I finished writing that dissertation six years ago. Yet I procrastinated. God continued to confirm through prayer and the encouragement of others that I needed to write it. People on two continents have offered to translate it. But I could not get it down on paper.

I finally wrote the outline three years ago. Last year we purchased a little cabin in the mountains of North Carolina to use as a writer’s retreat. I finally began writing in the fall of 2009, but it was a painful struggle and I did not know why. Every time I went there to write, I felt burdened and oppressed. Strange things—a sudden illness, back pain afflicting me or my husband, roof leaks, no electricity, no water, a freakishly terrible snowstorm, and so forth—would occur. I could not write the book.

In May 2010, our children joined us at our little cabin and prayed that God would cleanse each room from any presence or power of the Evil One. Other people began praying that I would have the ability to write. Incredibly, and to God’s glory, He removed the blockages, both physical and spiritual. I completed the first draft by the end of the summer.

I offer a simple story of God’s work in my life and nothing more. The book you read here represents neither a comprehensive study on the topic of forgiveness, nor a theological treatise on this vast subject. It is just the story. A story of a grieving mother’s journey towards healing, spiritual growth, and the freedom that forgiveness brings. Please accept it as such. God used Scriptures from my studies to teach me at each particular phase, at just the right time for the steps I was taking on the journey. I realize that many more could apply. Likewise, I have included quotes from various people who touched me deeply during my growth in understanding what forgiveness really meant. I limited my references to books influential to me during this long continuing trek, even though so many good books have been published on the topic.

With a desire to protect the privacy of those involved, all names have been changed except for my son, Tim’s.

There may be different interpretations of the events of September 20, 1992. This book is based on my perception of the facts I received. I am aware that there are details unknown to me. Tim is gone and while there are doubtless things that will require further forgiveness in the future, this is my journey so far.

I refer to this offering as “my story.” But really, it is God’s story, as He worked His truth into my life at a time of heartbreaking need. I humbly present it to you with a prayer that God will use it in your life to bring freedom and wholeness. Sadly, we live in a fallen world where offenses and serious grievances occur in every person’s life. These painful situations— whether merely a slight offense or as serious as murder—demand that all of us face the question, “Does God expect me to forgive?” The answer is clear. The choice is ours to obey. The power to do so comes from God alone.

May God be glorified through His children who respond in obedience both by choosing to forgive and by doing the acts of forgiveness that He commands.

Reviews + Endorsements

Howard G. Hendricks, Distinguished Professor Emeritus Leadership and Christian Education Dallas Theological Seminary

Nothing in life crushes our spirit more than unfair, undeserved injuries. When someone recklessly robs that which we hold dearest, our normal response is a raging revenge and debilitating sorrow. “I can’t live with this,” we say. The tragedy immobilizes our life. Few of us escape this kind of abuse at some time, but what to do about it? It won’t go away. Dr. Collard’s response to a most vicious crime stuns the reader with a rare solution. The impossible becomes doable. Here is a story not only of courage, but a step-by-step translation of implacable passion into an improbable win-win result. Out of the darkness of bitter distress a light of victory emerges—a literary banner leading the reader to ultimate peace of heart. Every broken heart needs to find healing in this superb guide to consolation.

Camilla L. Seabolt, Executive Director Community Bible Studies

I am so grateful to the Lord for prompting Dianne to write what she has written. You will not be able to read about her amazing pilgrimage without experiencing the Holy Spirit moving in your own heart. You will also want to give this to everyone so they too can have a fresh encounter with the full truth of biblical ‘forgiveness’ and the freedom in Christ it promises.

Dr. Steve Brown, Professor Emeritus, Reformed Theological Seminary, Orlando Author, Teacher, and Host of “Key Life,” a syndicated radio program

I’m a cynical old preacher who has to see the “real deal” sometimes just to keep doing what I do. Dianne Collard is the real deal in spades. Out of the soil of great personal pain, loss and tragedy God has “grown” a book that will change your life. It’s not just the story, it’s the truth –biblical, profound, practical—from someone whose been there and done that for the glory of God. Read this book! You will thank me for commending it to you.

Florence Littauer Internationally Recognized Author and Speaker

All of us at some time in our lives will face problems and challenges that we never expected. Often these problems seem more than we can bear. Dianne’s story of forgiveness shows us that when we choose the path of forgiveness we can experience the grace and peace of Jesus Christ.

Gordon Showell-Rogers,  Associate Secretary General, World Evangelical Alliance

Dianne’s deeply personal story is the honest story of her struggle, as a follower of Jesus, to forgive a great wrong—it is a moving and very real story of feelings and actions, of deliverance and grace. It is a story that is still in progress—so it has the potential to help many others struggling to forgive. It invites us all to join a journey of forgiveness and healing, whatever our pain.

Elizabeth Mittelstaedt, Publisher and editor of LYDIA, the Christian Magazine for Women

What could tear your soul apart more violently than the news that your child was murdered? The pain of such a crime is so overwhelming that one might ask, “Is it truly possible—or even appropriate—to forgive?” Dianne’s answer is a clear, “Yes!” I remember meeting her in Budapest to interview her for LYDIA, the Christian magazine for women. It had not been long after her son’s death and the wounds were terribly fresh. Still, I was impressed by her honesty and commitment to God’s Word as she faced this battle. Today she has reached a deep freedom through forgiveness, and in this book she traces the exact steps that helped her. A priceless guide for some of the hardest journeys in life.

Nancy Elwood, Missionary and Director of SHARE Education Services

Just finished reading Dianne’s book. I expected it to be personal–about her, not about me. She turned the tables on me (and everybody else). I can’t just walk away with some introspection and reflection. Thanks for persevering this to fruition and AGAIN contributing to my character development.

Reviews from Readers, published on amazon.com

Dianne’s story reflects the deepest of sorrow that defines life with a poignant ‘before and after’ experience. Her journey, with the discovery and application of forgiveness, provides a real encouragement for all of us who need to forgive and be forgiven. This book could provide that much needed glimmer of hope to that person who is drowning in sorrow, hurt and anger of a wrong experienced or perpetrated upon another. I can see this book being used in small groups and classes around our country and the world. (from DB)

I started reading “I Choose to Forgive: An Intimate Journey with God” to learn about Dianne’s journey, only to realize that she speaks to my journey as well. If you think that forgiving someone is one decision, Dianne shows that it is much more than that. Since her son’s murder, God has taught Dianne about His forgiving our sins by calling Dianne to forgive another. Through her journey, I understand that God calls us into obedience so that He can fill our lives with goodness, joy, and blessing. Thanks, Dianne! (from KH)

“I Choose to Forgive” vividly illustrates how true forgiveness takes journeying with God to new frontiers. Dianne’s journey is one that few of us have the courage to take. Starting from great devastation, to a daily step-by-step voyage with the Bible and the Holy Spirit as her guide, Dianne explains that we can only forgive others when we realize how much God has forgiven us. I encourage anyone who wants to find true peace and joy in their life to read this book and learn how you can learn to forgive those who have injured you on your walk through this world. (from WBR)

I just finished reading it and I AM THRILLED and STUNNED! In a world filled with books on forgiveness you DO NEED ONE MORE. This one! This book is not a theology book but a personal story told honestly and succinctly in such a way that the lessons Dianne has learned can be applied to any life. Nothing is sugar coated. She sets down her story and leaves a challenge which will set people free. It is not theory, it is very practical advice born out of experience and years of sharing with suggestions on how to implement the process in one’s home and church and organization. I am rambling, forgive me (sort of meant to be funny!) Right now the words are not coalescing, but my heart hopeful for the Body at large, that this book through its clear and simple telling of her story, will change the Church. There is work to be done and without forgiveness it can’t be done. (from GM)

Am so grateful you wrote it just as you have, Dianne.  He led you … not only all the way through the journey but all the way through the writing.  And now He will send it to accomplish the work of His Heart’s longing to set captives free…  may she be one of the many, many, many who will choose to forgive too.  By His Grace… for His Glory!! (from JP)

I couldn’t sleep (too much to pray about I guess) so I got up early this a.m. and read your book from start to finish.  It was wonderful.  Full of scripture truths and principles.  Having worked thru forgiving the unforgivable myself it was so encouraging to be affirmed in those principles that I also had to work thru.  A lot of the books you referenced were the tools God used in my own life.  You wrote of so many important aspects of forgiveness  – especially the part of sometimes a restored relationship is not possible or even the right course to pursue.  Also forgiving someone when they have not asked for your forgiveness and also forgiveness is not forgetting.  Drinking the poison of un forgiveness was also important.  I especially liked the discussion questions and will pray about implementing those principles with our IST in the future.  I could go on and on with the impact of the book but wanted to quickly commend you and Glenn for sacrificially giving your pain turned to joy to God and now to the world.  Forgiveness is so often misunderstood, bless you for explaining it in a simple, biblical, honest, and personal way.(from MV)

Just got your book in the mail the other day! I’ve already started it, and so am so thankful for your sharing of your journey of forgiveness. It’s a journey that I’m currently on, and I need all the wisdom and encouragement I can get from stories such as yours. How incredible at so many opportunities to publish it in so many languages! That is amazing! And what a testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness! Hope you are doing well. Praying for you! (from LW)

This book is an amazing story and testimony of forgiveness and healing. Everyone should read this book whether you feel you struggle with forgiveness or not. The author lets us see her journey with Father God in such a way that invites us to join in that kind of journey ourselves. So much healing (in all forms) is released through forgiveness. This book is an absolute treasure to the body of Christ! (from DA)

I also started reading this to learn about Dianne’s story, but found so much more than that. While Dianne does share her heartbreak over the murder of her son, she also addresses many aspects of forgiveness that many don’t grasp. One aspect is the destructiveness of unforgiveness (“resentment and bitterness…can destroy every area of a life”). Being unforgiving affects you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, as well as negatively impacting every relationship you have. She confronts several myths, including “forgiveness requires forgetting” and “I must have a relationship with the offender”. Dianne shares practical steps that need to be taken on the journey of forgiveness. This is a must read for anyone who has ever been hurt by another, whether that hurt was “minor” or “major”. It is also a perfect gift for those in your life that are hurting or that struggle with bitterness. (from CA)

Are we being asked to learn how to forgive someone who has done something so horrible that it has changed our lives forever? Many say we don’t have to forgive someone who has murdered our child, or perhaps molested our child, or injured or molested us or others who are dear to us. Many in the church believe that if the deed is horrible enough we aren’t required by the Lord to forgive a person who would commit such a heinous act or crime. But is that really true? Are there consequences to not forgiving? Dianne answers these questions and many more in her journey of forgiving the man who murdered her 18 year old son. How is such a journey even possible, I asked myself? I found this book to be very uncluttered, simple and filled with the healing truths of the Bible applied to Dianne’s life as she asked the Lord to help her trust Him in her journey of forgiveness. Even if we have not had such a crime committed against us or our loved ones, we probably have struggled with forgiving someone who had deeply hurt us, or we would like to help others in our lives who have deep hurts due to unforgiveness. It seems to me this book characterizes a journey, a process, a helpful way to think through our own journey with forgiving others. Unfortunately no one escapes hurt from others in this life. If we have friends, family, co-workers, etc. in our lives, we have relationships that inevitably will produce some kind of struggle someday…or today. This book has confirmed for me some truths concerning forgiveness and has also given me helpful new insights into forgiveness. I highly recommend it to men, women, teenagers, church leaders, other group leaders. There is one chapter near the end of the book: “Leaders Fostering Environments of Forgiveness” that could be very helpful to many different kinds of groups. It’s a short but powerful read that brings me back again and again to underline, remember, and apply it’s truths. (from PLP)

One of the chapters of this book describes the physiological impact of choosing not to forgive. As an ER nurse I interact with hurting people every day, and could give countless examples I have witnessed that support the research reviewed. This book, in a very personal and transparent manner gives hope to each of us who have been hurt. Through sharing her own deep hurt and the intellectual, spiritual and emotionally compelling reasons she chose to forgive, Diane challenges the reader to embrace the freedom, peace and healing that God desires for EACH of us! (from LRW)

As a counselor, I highly recommend this book. It is a powerful story of forgiveness and easily translates for anyone who is struggling to seek the way of freedom and healing that forgiveness brings. (from CG)

This book is worth reading! Even though it is about one woman’s journey, it applies to us all. It is helpful because it is told through personal example but also gives practical advice on “how-to”. I fully recommend this book, as it is an encouraging tool toward freedom through forgiveness. (from CS)

The distillation of the truth of forgiveness comes through strongly from one who has spent many years attempting to learn and put in to practice this upside down way of living. Is it really possible for a human being to live in such a way? It would be tempting to think to live in freedom that forgiveness brings would require a special kind of person. To think that way could be to try to justify a lack of forgiveness and choosing to prefer bitterness instead. The author prevents the reader from camping on that idea because she continually brings the challenge to forgive back to a personal choice. The choice is built on the foundation of the forgiveness she has received in Jesus Christ. Through the power of God’s forgiveness of us we derive strength to choose forgiveness ourselves. Any person who seriously reads and contemplates this book and its subject will inexorably be confronted with their own attitude and challenged to live counter to the human emotion of hatred and bitterness. If you are one who needs this freedom that forgiveness brings, read this book! Help is on the way! (from GTC)

I’ve read umpteen books on forgiveness, so was reading my friend’s Dianne’s because I too always read books my friends write! I expected to hear Dianne’s story, but the book took me by surprise, challenging me to check my theology on forgiveness.I especially was challenged by the section on ‘acts of forgiveness’ and was immediately struck by the fact that I needed to do that with someone in my family – someone with whom I’ve had a stormy relation. Though we have had forgiveness and reconciliation, there has been a couple of years of frustration and I’ve wondered why, after we got so far, we still clash more often than gel. I truly believe this book landed in my lap at a time when I could begin to implement ‘acts of forgiveness’ and look forward to seeing what changes lie ahead in this relationship. I am sobered by my own obtuseness and excited about the future.Thanks so much, Dianne, for the challenge and the clarity! May God fulfill ALL the purposes he has for this book, and for you and your family as you continue to walk it out. What a journey–and we’re all on it. (from PB)

From Dr. Clay Barnes, director of Carmel Counseling Center, Matthews, NC

Deeply personal, biblically anchored, I Choose to Forgive is a succinct documentation of one woman and mother’s journey through grief, anger and resentment to forgiveness and healing.  In a matter of a few short chapters Dr. Collard has revealed the painful process of loss, grief and ultimately the journey of forgiveness that can allow a grieving mother to confront and forgive a senseless act of violence perpetrated upon her son.

I am most impressed that Dr. Collard was able to communicate in two and a half pages the horror of learning that her son had been murdered while trying to help a colleague out of a difficult situation.  In the space of these pages she is able to communicate the tragedy without getting mired down in the gritty details or trying to sensationalize any aspect of the story.  She introduces the “characters” of the book with respect and anonymity, protecting identities of all involved.

The chapters then move quickly and directly into the meat of the book:  How can one possibly forgive this kind of senseless act of violence?  Dr Collard proposes that, not only can it be done, she walks through her own process of understanding that it is a journey that must be taken if she is to move forward in ministry and in life.  Reading the book, one can sense the struggle of the author and understand this book, though short and clear, is not trying to present some simplistic formula.

I found the book to be long enough to communicate what needed to be and short enough to recommend to any client struggling with the issue of unforgiveness.  I believe this little book can be a valuable addition to any counseling library and recommendation list.

From Saipan:

“We had such a terrific Tuesday Bible study last night! I love these women dearly, and our time together is a HUGE blessing! Our discussion centered around my friend Dianne Barnett Collard‘s book on forgiveness, “I Choose to Forgive” (available from Amazon and continually being translated into more languages). I have been reading the book for the second time as I prepare to lead discussion each week, and it is life changing. I recommend Dianne’s book to everyone. I would challenge any Christian to read it and maintain that unforgiveness of ANY act is ok with God.

Told ya – fascinating, life changing stuff right?! We had such an open, honest discussion. Love this group of women so much!”

Events

Check back regularly to view announcements of book signings and speaking engagements surrounding I Choose to Forgive: An Intimate Journey with God.

I Choose to Forgive: An Intimate Journey with God may be purchased on all online book websites. The retail price is $9.95 for a soft-cover version or less for an e-book.

January 2015

I will be the featured speaker at a Ladies’ Retreat for Grace Brethren Church of Ripon, CA. It will be held at the Alliance Redwoods campground. The 3-mesage topic will be “Transforming Choices: the Choice to be Content, The Choice to Hope in Despair and the Choice to Forgive”.

2014 HUNGARY/ROMANIA SPEAKING EVENTS

17 September: Interviews with radio & magazine journalists.
22 September: CBMC event in Bekes, Hungary
24 September: Interview with Catholic Radio, Hungary

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